Zombies, Unicorns, etc.

Face Painting, Unicorns and Dragons

My wife Shannon was doing face painting at a church event recently.  The Face Painting Supervisor (FPS) informed her that there would be no demons, witches, unicorns or dragons (or touching of the historical artifacts?).  I can understand the first two.  It would be not be good for the church to be filled with little demon-witch children, but unicorns and dragons?  What’s wrong with that?

Since I had been discussing my upcoming unicorn blog, Shannon replied to the FPS, “Oh, but there are unicorns in the Bible, at least in the King James Version.”  This initially stumped the FPS, but she finally responded, “If unicorns are in the Bible, I guess that’s OK.”

Actually, Shannon could have said, “Unicorns, dragons, witches and demons are all in the Bible”.  Despite that, I’d probably still not want my young child to be decorated with demonic images.  (Although C.S. Lewis wrote stories about dragons and witches…)

As a sequel to my posts on unicorns, I was going to write one on dragons in the Bible, mainly in the King James Version.  But Joel Hoffman has already done just that, as he informed me in his comment to my unicorn blog:

Unicorns, Dragons, and Other Animals You Meet in the Bible « God Didn’t Say That.

He covers the subject in more detail than me, so I will defer to his expertise on this important biblical issue.

So, what do you think, is it OK to paint unicorns and dragons on little boys and girls’ faces? 

Unicorns, in the biblical sense – Sansblogue

Tim keeps the unicorn discussion going on his blog (see yesterday’s blog: https://davidtlamb.com/2012/03/07/unicorns-in-the-bible/).

Check it out, but be warned.  He’s going to use his solitary horn (Hebrew, that is) to pop the bubble of all those unicorn enthusiasts and suggest that the word should be translated as “rhinoceros”.

Unicorns, in the biblical sense – Sansblogue.

Unicorns in the Bible

Do you believe in unicorns?  A student in my psalms class (Phil) pointed out to me recently that unicorns appear in the Bible.

I said, “What?”  He said, “Yep”.  I said, “Where?”  He said in Psalm 22 and other places.  “You’re kidding.”  “Nope, but only in the King James Version.”

I opened up BibleWorks 7.0, and discovered 9 references, including these two:

“His horns are like the horns of unicorns” (Deut. 33:17).
“And the unicorns shall come down with them” (Isa 34:7).

The other references are Numbers 23:22; 24:8; Job 39:9, 10; Psalms 22:21; 29:6; 92:10; Isaiah 34:7.  There aren’t elephants, rhinos or giraffes mentioned in the Bible, but there are unicorns.  At least in the KJV.

I know I’m going to anger all my 7 year-old female readers with this, but despite the fact that they appear in the KJV Bible, I don’t believe in unicorns.

If you like unicorns and the comic strip Baby Blues, check this out: http://www.babyblues.com/archive/index.php?GoToDay=2006-10-27.

I love the King James Version, but it has a few problems.  This is why it’s good to use multiple versions of the Bible when we study the text.

What other quirky things do you find in the Bible? 

Prophets, Priests, Kings and Zombies?

The past decade has witnessed an unprecedented amount of books (and films and games) devoted to zombies.  For example,

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War (2006) by Max Brooks.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2009) by Seth Grahame-Smith.

Theories of International Politics and Zombies (2011) by Daniel W. Drezner.

Have we reached the point where we can longer avoid working on a book reflecting on the theological implications of the living dead on Old Testament studies?

Perhaps, Prophets, Priests, Kings and Zombies?

What biblical texts should be considered for this work, which is destined to become the classic introduction to OT zombie studies?

Daniel Drezner uses the zombie standard, Ezekiel 37:5-8, as the epigraph to his Theories of International Politics and Zombies, where YHWH speaks to the dry bones, and they take on flesh and live.  That’s a text that deserves an extended discussion.

I also like 2 Kings 13:20-21, where a dead man is thrown onto the grave of the recently deceased Elisha and as soon as the dead man touches Elisha’s bones he comes back to life.  I think that qualifies as an example of a walking dead person.  (Although the text says nothing about the man wanting to eat brains, so perhaps not?)

What other OT texts should be considered?